Friday, August 14, 2009

The Last 4 Pounds

This is very exciting. I have decided that it is time to go shopping for the dress I will wear to my son’s wedding. We are one month away from the nuptials and it’s time. With only 4 pounds to go, I doubt it will be that much of a difference in sizing, and if so I know a fabulous seamstress who can fix me right up in an emergency.

I was out surveying what was available and trying on some dresses, just to get a feel for sizing and how things hang on the new figure. Let me tell you, this is exciting. I remember this body. I starting trying on cloths in styles and cuts that I used to wear and it was a feeling of, well, finally being in Kansas again. I think I even look better than I did before I put on this weight because I’ve been working out. I have more muscle tone than I did when I was cleaning houses. There is still much work to be done in the butt and thighs department and I don’t think I’m ready for a bikini, but Chris sure likes what he sees.
I pulled my hair back yesterday in a style I haven’t worn in a while because it made my face look too round and wow, I recognize that face. It’s my face. The only I kept feeling like I should be seeing every time I looked in the mirror instead of that old woman with a gobbler chin looking back at me.
This weekend I will be cloths shopping and I will be enjoying every single minute of it for the first time in five years.
As good as I feel, this is merely motivating me to keep going rather than giving me permission to slack off. That is very different from other times.
Yesterday, when I was taking my lunch walk, I had on a new pair of jeans and fitted knit top and my hair down. I got checked out by not one, not two, but three guys driving by and one of them was a hot young college guy on a motorcycle.
I feel great and about 10 years younger. Woo Hoo can’t wait to see what 4 less pounds from now feels like.

Ups and Downs

I have not been as diligent about writing about my journey as I had hoped. The journey has had its ups and downs. One of the most important things I have discovered was how to relieve my own personal leaning toward rebellion.

Taking a Break

About three weeks ago we went away for the weekend and I did my best to stick to the diet with a little wiggle room balanced by lots of exercise. On the third day of what was to be my break from stress and reality I just didn’t want to count my calories or work out. I was tiered of it; REALLY sick and tired of it. At that point I had been diligently sticking to a strict plan for about 4 months with fairly good progress and making a dent in the last 10 pounds, but I really didn’t care anymore. I gave myself the day. I didn’t go crazy, but I didn’t count and I didn’t make a point of exercising. The only sweet I had was one brownie. My one big indulgence was that I let myself have the good Irish beer, not the crappy American light beer.

When I got home I found that I still didn’t want to be bothered with the counting and the working out. I felt a serious rebellion coming on. A “I look great and I’m sick of this. I’m close enough to my goal.” Chuck the whole new lifestyle rebellion.


This is what I decided. I took the break with a defined period of time and then back to counting and exercising. I didn’t change what I eat, but if I really did feel hungry in the afternoon, I went ahead and had a larger snack than usual. I went ahead and had popcorn at the movie we went to. I didn’t go to the gym, but I took some evening walks for the enjoyment. The fact is, I didn’t deviate that much from what I had been doing, I just loosened the reins and relaxed about it all.

Here is what I found out after that week. I didn’t gain any weight back. With the exception of one day out of that whole week, I basically stuck to my healthy eating.

This break accomplished two things. It stifled the rebellion and it showed me that I truly have made the necessary lifestyle change to keep this weight off when I have reached my goal.

I’m pretty darn happy about that. Rather than give me permission to slack, it has motivated me to keep working for the goal.

The other thing that I discovered is that although I didn’t miss getting up at 5am to work out, I did miss working out. I feel better when I work out. My body really likes it and I sleep better. Also I focus better at work and at home.


This discovery gives me so much confidence in my efforts and choices and reinforces my motivation.